Same Sex-Marriage: Loving Others and Living with Differences

I have struggled for the past few years with my feelings regarding same-sex marriage. As the world has become more liberal and more accepting of those who experience same-sex attraction I was often confused. I had been raised in the church and taught that same-sex attraction is something that people struggle with, however, the church does not support it and does not encourage it. When proposition 8 came about and the church asked members to help not pass the proposition I was confused. Here we are in a church in which we are taught to love others and we have been persecuted for our beliefs, yet we wouldn't allow others to practice their own beliefs. I knew little regarding proposition 8 and little regarding the church's actual position and actions towards those with same-sex attraction.

If you google Same Sex Attraction and LDS the first page that comes up is this webpage by the church. In this article is states:

The Church’s affirmation of marriage as being between a man and a woman “neither constitutes nor condones any kind of hostility toward gays and lesbians.”⁶ On the contrary, many Church leaders have spoken clearly about the love and respect with which all people are to be treated. Former Church president Gordon B. Hinckley (1910-2008) told members who are attracted to the same sex: “Our hearts reach out to [you]. We remember you before the Lord, we sympathize with you, we regard you as our brothers and sisters.” President Boyd K. Packer affirmed, “We do not reject you. … We cannot reject you. … We will not reject you, because we love you.”

The Church has advocated for rights for same-sex couples regarding “hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the traditional family or the constitutional rights of churches.”⁷ In Salt Lake City, for example, the Church supported ordinances aimed at protecting gay residents from discrimination in housing and employment. 

The church does not want to infringe on the right of others and on the constitutional rights of all individuals. However, they choose to practice and support the sanctity of marriage and family life. 

My prayers were further answered by Elder Oaks talk in the last general conference in October 2014 titled, Loving Others and Living with Differences. 

In this talk he stated:

The gospel has many teachings about keeping the commandments while living among people with different beliefs and practices. The teachings about contention are central. When the resurrected Christ found the Nephites disputing over the manner of baptism, He gave clear directions on how this ordinance should be performed. Then He taught this great principle:

“There shall be no disputations among you, as there have hitherto been; neither shall there be disputations among you concerning the points of my doctrine, as there have hitherto been.

“For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.

“Behold, this is … my doctrine, that such things should be done away” (3 Nephi 11:28–30; emphasis added).

The church does not support or condone the spirit of contention but rather they teach the principle of love. 

Elder Oaks goes on: 

On the subject of public discourse, we should all follow the gospel teachings to love our neighbor and avoid contention. Followers of Christ should be examples of civility. We should love all people, be good listeners, and show concern for their sincere beliefs. Though we may disagree, we should not be disagreeable. Our stands and communications on controversial topics should not be contentious. We should be wise in explaining and pursuing our positions and in exercising our influence. In doing so, we ask that others not be offended by our sincere religious beliefs and the free exercise of our religion. We encourage all of us to practice the Savior’s Golden Rule: “Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them” (Matthew 7:12).

We are to love one another. 

As Latter-Day Saints we need to make an effort to love those around us. So many in the world today are confused about the stance of the LDS church. They believe that we may be prejudice or unfair. We need to reach out and show concern for others, no matter their circumstance. We are to follow the first and second great commandments, 1) To love our God, and 2) to love our neighbor.