Fidelity

There are only two people who we are commanded to love with all our heart, God, and our spouse. We are commanded to love God with all our “heart, might, mind, and strength,” and we are to love our spouse with the same conviction. With this conviction we promise to be complete faithful to our spouse.

The world is not perfect in this view, however, and has struggled with infidelity for ages. Infidelity presents itself in a variety of ways; fantasy and visual, as well as romantic and sexual.

Fantasy infidelity involves fantasizing with someone other than your spouse such as “what if I was married to so and so,” or “how would life be different with so and so.” Fantasizing can happen with someone in your imagination, a celebrity, or someone you have met online. Many people claim this might be harmless since no physical infidelity has occurred. President Spencer W. Kimball stated otherwise when he stated that when love wanes or dies, “it is often infidelity of thought or act which gave the lethal potion. There must be no romantic interest, attention, dating, or flirtation of any kind with anyone [outside the bounds of marriage]” (Kimball, 1969).

Visual infidelity is rampant in the world today. We live in a day in which good is portrayed as evil, and evil as good. Many people promote and even encourage pornography stating that they can’t satisfy the needs of their husband, so why not allow them to look at pornography, at least they aren’t physically having relationships with anyone else. What a horrible and harmful ideal to have within a marriage. I don’t believe that there have been any medical studies out there which have proved that a man without sexual stimulation will die or become ill (please, prove me if I am wrong). Never sell yourself short, sexual intimacy is to be had between a husband and wife as a form of love and bonding, not as a means to satisfy urges. In Matthew 5:27-28 the Lord tells us “I say unto you, that whosoever looketh upon a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

Romantic infidelity is when you become attacked emotionally with another person besides your spouse. How boring would marriage be if you only handled the bills and chores together but looked elsewhere for your relationships? Marriage is an all-in-one package complete with friendship, love, trust, and burdens. It isn’t fair to your spouse to leave all the dirty work within the marriage and then take your romance elsewhere. Husband and Wife are to leave their Father and their Mother (and may I include their best friends, and collegues) behind, and to cleave to one another. This does not mean that you cannot have friendly relationships with anyone besides your spouse or that you are to cut all previous ties with anyone and everyone. It means that you should keep your emotional relationship between you and your spouse. Depend on one another and maintain your romantic relationship.

Sexual infidelity is obvious. It is the most serious and harmful form of infidelity. Fantasy, visual, and romantic infidelity if not quickly controlled and corrected can lead to sexual infidelity. Veon Smith warned, “Infidelity is a subtle process. It does not begin with adultery; it begins with thoughts and attitudes. Each step to adultery is short, and each is easily taken; but once the process starts, it is difficult to stop.”

In order to prevent infidelity set boundaries for yourself. Decide right here and now what you would do if faced with temptation. Determine where your boundaries are in order to keep you and your spouse safe. Secondly, be fiercely loyal. In school we used to say clench tight, knuckles white. Hold to one another and decide that nothing will come between you and your spouse.

The world today would make you believe that happiness can be found outside the bounds set by the Lord. The Lord has declared, however, that wickedness never was happiness. Let us be careful in all that we do and say, let us control our thoughts, and be faithful to our spouse. Continue to love and grow in your relationship through continual courtship and selflessness.